The last time I was in Iowa I stayed in the small town of Grundy Center which was having its annual festival and I got drunk and peed on the police station my grandparents live next to and a cop came out and laughed and then I waved at the surveillance camera he pointed out which pretty much summarizes how much effort he puts into policing 400 people.
This one time I was partying at my friends house and there was this cute girl and she slipped and fell outside and I ran over to help her up and frantically yelled “ARE YOU HURT? SOMETIMES YOU CANT TELL ‘CAUSE OF RUSHING FLUIDS, ARE THERE FLUIDS!?” And she looked really confused like she had no idea it was from Finding Nemo and I instantly lost interest with her.
Why do I even go on tumblr the night my shows are on. Spoiled minutes before I start it. Some of us people have to work and catch up on five shows in a night from the DVR like adults.